the present moment

it is (i suppose) part of the journey
but we start it not really knowing
what the purpose is

along the way
we meet people who we find a connection with
and still we don’t understand

in all of this, random things happen
(actually they are the sparks that give us hope)
and we instantly realign our hope
to a new adventure

and so it goes on
until we die with the wisdom of our life
safely saved in our souls

they say (the wise ones)
that life only has truth in the present moment

they warn us to not live in the past
nor to live in dreams of how we want to future to be
(where our dreams will come true)

I understand all of this
but how can i forget the past, it is what has made me what I am?
how can i stop dreaming of the future, it’s my dreams, ok?!

it’s enough that our hearts live in loneliness
they are, after all, built for it… beating, beating…
a machine for keeping ourselves alive

when our hearts stop
so do we, and move on…

,

why do i write these words?
my fingers move quickly over the keyboard
(i enjoy the sensation)
of trying to understand

i write words because i want to make peace with the storms
i want answers, forgiveness, hope, love
I want the words to magically explain what is going on

I’ve felt what it’s like
to hold someone without thinking
no words can explain
it’s soooo beautiful 🙂

also felt loss, which never truly leaves
i wouldn’t want it to
it’s part of who we all are

,

my fingers are getting slower on the keyboard
it’s late, i’m so very tired

my heart sings again and again
i hope that happiness will find us all